I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
