Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
