What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
