she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
