I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
