Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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