Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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