I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
