You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
