According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish you could order shots online.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
