I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
