weddingsv make me drug and hornr
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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