Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Green mimosas i think yes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
