Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
