why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We need to get me chipped asap
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
