I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
