"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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