i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
