I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
