i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
