i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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