I want to have your abortion
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mom said you looked used
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
