Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
