So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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