So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
