mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
