We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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