Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my poor anus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
