Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
