Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
