Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
