please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
