the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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