Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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