Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
