My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
