sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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