fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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