then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
