So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
