Is it normal to miss your booty call?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
