that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You ate ashes out of my bong
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
