i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
