That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
