Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
