My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
