NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
