Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
