do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
