Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
