Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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